I'm drowning

Wave, after wave, after wave, after wave...

I can't stay afloat.

I'm struggling with our adopted child... to attach, to love, to homeschool, to discipline correctly.

I'm struggling with my seven month old... who has thrown up every single day for a week!

I'm struggling in my marriage... fighting exhaustion and low sex drive but wanting to meet my husband's needs.

I'm struggling as a mom... to love my boys well and be intentional with my time with each of them.

I'm struggling as a wife... to keep the house clean, meals prepared, pantry stocked, laundry folded and put away.

I'm struggling as a woman in her thirties... to lose weight, exercise, and make healthy eating choices.

I'm struggling with my quiet times... to find the time, to not fall asleep, to know what to do, to truly seek Him just to be with Him.


I know the Lord is near... or at least I'm choosing to believe it because His word says "HE IS NEAR."  (Psalm 145:18)

But man oh man this is the most difficult season I've ever had to walk through.

Never have I had so many questions and needed so many answers, and yet I continue to hear "I don't know."

What is going on Lord?!?

Are you trying to get my attention? You have it.

I feel him encouraging me and know I need to power through.  Part of our family verse for the year is "Be strong and courageous!"  I chose it not knowing the battles I would have to fight... or how difficult each one would be... or that they'd all hit at the same time.

I absolutely cannot do this.  Lord, help me fight these battles on my knees. I desperately need You!  Draw near to me and give me courage to stand against the enemy and his plans for me: depression, discouragement, guilt, shame, condemnation. None of that is from You. Your word says You are "faithful, and will not let me be tempted beyond my ability, but with the temptation You will also provide the way of escape, that I might be able to endure it."  I thank You for this encouragement and pray that I would put on the armor of God every morning so that I'm prepared for what's ahead.  These days are so incredibly long and tiring Lord, help me to draw my strength from You.  Thank You for Your grace and that Your mercies are new every morning. I may fail miserably every day and that's okay... as long as I fix my eyes on You and love You with all my heart, soul, and might. You are in charge of the rest.  Help to remember the weight of these problems do not need to be on my shoulders, may I lay them at Your feet and trust You with the outcome.