Joshua's 5th birthday

Today my little boy is turning FIVE!  I can't believe how fast time has flown by.  It seems like just yesterday we saw him for the first time.

Then after months and months of waiting, but also seeing the Lord move in mighty ways, we got to bring him home!

It's been three years of fun and tears, joy and laughter, trial and error, pain and growth.  This adoption journey has not been anything like we thought it would be. But God has been so good and faithful through it all. He is still growing us and teaching us to be the perfect parents for Joshua.

Joshua has smiled and laughed, pushed his boundaries, learned to love, become an older brother (twice), and is continuing to learn and grow in the Lord.  He is an awesome helper, and enjoys it too. He goes to Cubbies and does such a great job memorizing verses.  He loves to tell other people the rules to obey, even though he's still learning to obey himself.  He takes such good care of Maverick and Anchor and always wants to be with mom and dad when we're around the house.  He adores his grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins.  It has been so much fun doing school with him because he gets excited about everything! He has an amazing long term memory.  I love to see him try new things and make new friends.  I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for him this year.

***ALL ABOUT JOSHUA***

favorite food: macaroni and cheese, strawberries, carrots

favorite drink: Dr. Pepper

favorite color:  orange

favorite thing to do:  play with motorcycles

favorite sport: (after asking "what's a sport?")  football

favorite movie: Home

what he hopes to do this year: play games at Chuck-E-Cheese

what he wants to get: spiderman remote control car, spiderman mask, and real spiderman webs

what he wants to be when he grows up: (after saying spiderman) a construction worker like daddy

my verse for him this year:  "Be strong and courageous!" Joshua 1:9

what I hope he learns: ride a bike (without training wheels); be a leader and set a good example

*****

For his birthday, I surprised him early in the morning with a date to Starbucks!

Then his cousins are coming to spend the night tomorrow.  We plan to play at the park, eat macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets, and then go get ice cream. After that, we'll watch his favorite movie. In the morning, I'll make cinnamon rolls, fruit, and juice.

(Maverick was soooooo excited to stay up late for ice cream and a movie.)

Then the real party begins! I asked Joshua what he wanted to do... I kept emphasizing he could have anything he wanted, expecting him to be completely unrealistic. But all he wanted was a red cake, spiderman ballon, his friends, and to dress up like spiderman.  So his friends are coming over to make pizzas and have Dr. Pepper. Then we'll go see Alvin and the Chipmunks and then come back for cake and ice cream.

I love this kid like crazy and am fervently praying the Lord continues to knit our hearts together.  I plan to do date nights once a month and maybe once this year we could go on a trip.  I want him to know how special he is and how grateful I am that he made me a mommy.  God knew exactly what He was doing when He brought Joshua into our family. And I just hope to show him how awesome adoption is, because we've been adopted into God's family.  It's been a rough road, but my prayers are that this year would be a turning point and that my relationship with Joshua will never be the same, for the better!

warrior wednesday

Life has been crazy busy lately, and unfortunately I've had to take a break from homeschooling. Not because homeschooling is hard, but because Anchor has been a pretty difficult baby. He spits up a ton and cries if he's not being held. I honestly don't know how the third child can be so demanding.

So we're taking a break from our work because I also figure it's going to be a pretty hot summer and we might as well be inside, in the AC, doing school. That way I'm not pressured to finish by the end of May, we can spend more time outdoors since the weather has been phenomenal, and it will also give Anchor more time to grow out of this fussy-can't-stop-spitting-up phase. It's a win-win-win situation!

So here's what we've been up to:

practicing cartwheels (we signed Joshua up for gymnastics in January)

making mud pies

learning how to make our bed 

eating goldfish 

riding bikes/cars

playing in the sprinklers

I'm embracing my newish role as boymom! It means lots of mud, baths, roughhousing, sound effects, bumps, and bruises... but also a whole lot of love, hugs, and kisses! Joshua even brought me flowers!! I love how boys take care of their mommies. I'm blessed beyond measure with my three!

Little Anchor is trying so hard to sit up... it's such hard work!! He either falls forward or turns his leg and goes sideways. He is gaining weight though! At his six month check up he weighed 15lbs! WAHOO!!!!

We've also learned to take "silly face" photos, and now it's hard for mom to get us smiling nicely!

Dad has been working like crazy so we really soak up our time with him on the weekends. 

Easter

Easter is my favorite holiday!! I love the weather (most of the time), the pretty dresses, the food, the egg hunts, and most of all the reason we celebrate. I am in awe that the God of the universe sent His ONLY Son to die for me.  I celebrate that He overcame death and that the enemy is completely powerless! I love the words to this song "Christ is Risen" by Matt Maher.

"Christ is risen from the dead, trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake, come and rise up from the grave.
Christ is risen from the dead, we are one with Him again,
Come awake, come awake, come and rise up from the grave."

I decided at the last minute to make Easter baskets for the boys.  I filled them with candy, and Joshua got a new water bottle and Maverick a plate and cup.  I don't let my boys eat much sugar so I'm regretting spending money on candy I don't let them eat. I hope to plan ahead next year and get books, a movie, toys, or things they can play with instead of eat.

"He is risen indeed! Happy Easter!"

We went to my cousin April's house for lunch and the egg hunt.  I'm not thrilled with the pictures I got of our family, but something is better than nothing. The boys had so much fun playing and hunting for eggs. I'm so grateful for family and traditions.

On Monday, we met my dad and Gay at Arbor Hills for a picnic.  The weather was gorgeous and it was so nice to just be outside and in each other's company.  We had sandwiches and then headed off on a walk. Jack brought his puppy Mozi and the kids loved playing with him! Of course I didn't get any pictures, but it was the perfect end to this Easter season.

we bought paradise

In August of 2014 we moved into our home in Highland Village.  Kenny remodeled it, and it's wonderful!! However, it's not our forever home.  The kitchen is small and we enjoy entertaining, and have large families.  We don't have a playroom/schoolroom so when friends come over, the kids are in the same den as the adults and it's difficult to have conversations or play games.  There's no guest room.  The boys' rooms are across from the master bedroom.  The bathrooms are tiny.  And I have no bathtub in the master bathroom.  But, we had plans to build a house on our lot in Forest Hills so these were all things I could live with temporarily.

Since then, I have absolutely fallen in love with this area!  I love how close I am to multiple grocery stores, shopping, parks, trails, the gym, etc.  It's great to be right off the highway so we can get to church/Dallas easily.  We've become really good friends with the Merrimans and the thought of moving away from them is heartbreaking.

So we put building a new home on hold and began praying about where the Lord wanted us.  Kenny is always looking at lots, either with clients or for possible business plans.  We talked about buying land across the bridge, up off 380, or in the Argyle area.  Kenny's thoughts were that there are already so many established builders in this area that he would need to move further north to have a chance to make a name for himself.  I'm not going to stand in the way of that!

Thanks to my emotions, I've been all over the place.  One day, I want to move back up to 380... mainly because I wanted land and that seemed to be the only place we could find an acre or more for a decent price.  The next day, I'd be willing to take a smaller lot so we could stay close to our friends. Then we'd walk through a house Kenny built, and I'd tell him I don't care how far it is, we just need land!  A few days later, I'd see Melissa and decide we can stay in our current home forever... I'd make it work even though we've clearly outgrown it.

Several days ago, Kenny had mentioned finding a two acre lot in Eagles Landing and I asked him to pray about it.  But I just kept getting the feeling that if we bought that lot, I'd basically be cutting the time I see my family in half.  It's just too far off the highway, which makes trips to/from Dallas a beating.  As much as I want land, I'm not ready to sacrifice the location to get it.  So I had resolved to just wait.

On Wednesday, we were out running errands when Kenny called and said "I might have just done something."  I had been tracking him and knew he had spent several hours in an area that looked like a park, so I figured he probably bought some land.  He continued, "I just bought us a little piece of paradise."

My heart skipped a beat and I wanted to pull over and hyperventilate.  "You couldn't talk about this with me first?!?"

"Oh, I won't need to ask you about this.  It's two acres, tons of trees, a small hill, place for a pond, backs up to the Corps of Engineers, and is surrounded by several other five acre tracks, and has a creek running through it."  I couldn't believe what I was hearing! "At the front of the subdivision, the developer is making several smaller lots that I could buy and build houses on as well.  There is a private drive that leads back to our lot, so we are completely isolated in the middle of the city. It's not even on the market yet, but I talked him into letting me buy it!"

Because I had been tracking Kenny, I knew where it was located.  Right off the highway, about two exits north of where we currently live, in Hickory Creek.  He was working on getting a contract and said we could see it after the boys napped.  It seemed like an eternity, but we finally loaded up and went to see it.

Kenny was right, it was our own paradise!

private road that leads back to our lot

I'm just completely in awe of the Lord's faithfulness and provision!  Kenny has shown me time and time again how important it is to be patient, and if we don't get what we want, it only means God has something better in mind.  I'm thankful for his patience and wisdom in leading our family.  This truly is the perfect location... we get our land, right in the middle of the city!  And we can have chickens, goats, and a donkey!

Kenny has been drawing plans for the house and this is one we both love!

I can't wait to post updates and walk through this process with Kenny.  I've seen so many houses that he's built for other people knowing someday I would get my chance.  And it's finally here!!!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, LORD.  You are too good to us!

the struggle is real

I knew I'd struggle with three boys... but I didn't think it would be this hard.

How do I keep my priorities straight?

What should my priorities be?  Homeschooling over cleaning, or vice versa?  Exercise over healthy eating, or vice versa?  Playdates or staying home, or vice versa?  Bible study or sleep, or vice versa?

Tonight was rough, mainly because it ended with Kenny leaving the house mad, and me at home with three starving screaming boys and ten minutes until bedtime.

But let's back up a few hours.

Kenny had agreed to watch the boys so I could try Camp Gladiator with a friend.  It was an hour class that started at 5:15 so I knew I wouldn't be home until 6:30.  This is hands down the most difficult time of day:

• Anchor wants to be held constantly.  
• Dinner needs to be made... and if it's healthy, it requires more than just turning on the oven.
• Joshua and Maverick are competing for dad's attention and he's ready to wind down from a hard day of work.  
• I'm usually ready to run out of the house screaming, desperate for some peace and quiet. 

So I was grateful for the time to workout, especially knowing the sacrifice Kenny was making to watch all three boys at this time.

To make matters worse, the house was a wreck.  Toys were strewn everywhere, even though we had cleaned up a few hours earlier.  I had made plans to cook taco salad, but sorely underestimated my time, and therefore nothing was ready.  And Kenny had plans to meet a friend for dinner at 8, but needed to run a few errands first (unbeknownst to me).

After my workout, I saw a text from Kenny that said:

"I can not function with such a f***in messy house."

Ouch!  I knew I had been slacking and, although I hate to admit it, was waiting for him to mention something before getting my act together.  He had remained quiet about his frustration, but was now at his breaking point.

I pulled into the driveway at 6:40.  Kenny came out, fuming mad, and announced he needed to get a hair cut, get his car washed, and then sit in traffic to be to dinner by 8.  The boys had not eaten (because I didn't tell him what to make) and they were supposed to be in bed in 10 minutes.  AND Anchor was sitting in his swing, screaming.

Completely defeated, I walked inside and wanted to melt into a puddle and cry.  My six month old baby was screaming, desperately wanting to be held.  Joshua and Maverick were both begging for food and attention.  And the house truly was a disaster.  I couldn't believe I actually left with it looking so bad.

I had messed up... really, really bad.  And all I knew to do was pray.  Lord, show me what to do.  Okay, first things first.  My boys needed physical food, and fast.

I threw them in the car and drove up to Sonic.  ***I'm technically supposed to be on day 24 of Whole 30, a very clean eating plan.  However,  I decided I wanted to spend the last week of this learning how to incorporate Whole 30 into my life, my reality.  And tonight, fast food was more important than making my kids wait another hour so I could prepare a healthy meal (which should have already been made). Lesson learned.***  Along the way, I poured out my heart to the Lord.  I confessed that I had screwed up.  Working out can not happen when our home is a wreck, dinner is not ready, and the kids are needing some attention.  It just can't.  I don't want it to and don't feel like it should ever be a priority over managing the home.

I also told the Lord I can't seem to do it all!  How do I spend time helping Anchor learn to sit up (while constantly cleaning up his spit-up), playing with my Maverick, or homeschooling Joshua AND keep the house clean?!?  I feel like I live life in a constant daze, probably a little depressed, just hoping the hours pass by.  Anchor is our last baby and I hate that I just want this season to be over.  I'm so tired of being tied down to my house, and a schedule, and burp cloths and towels, and spit-up!  I just want to enjoy my arrows and this precious time with them, while keeping the other demands of life in balance.  It must be possible or He wouldn't call me to it.  So I prayed that He would show me how to structure my day so that I learn to fit it all in.  Someone once told me God put 24 hours in a day for a very specific reason... it's not too few and not too many.  So somehow, there MUST be a way to get it all in. I just need to seek Him and have Him show me how to do it.  It can't be in my own strength or I will always come up short.

When we got back home, I handed the boys their burgers, started Anchor's bottle, and turned on some worship music.  After finally getting the boys in bed, I went to work cleaning the house.  I was supposed to meet Melissa for Bible study, but I asked her to postpone.  I hated that my screwup affected her, but I felt it was important to show Kenny I heard him and I was truly sorry for letting things get so bad.  There really was no excuse.

Tonight I learned how much Kenny depends on me to be a good housewife, just like I depend on him to provide for us.  I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to be checking out at the grocery store only to find there's no money in the account.  Or to have my card declined at the gas station when my car is completely empty.  We live in a gorgeous home and want for very little, thanks to Kenny's good stewardship of the money/resources God has given us.  I want to pull the same weight on my end.  The Lord showed me I can't focus so much on being mom (or worse, my own selfish desires to look good) that I lose sight of what I was created to be... Kenny's helpmate!  Even though spending time with the boys is good and important, it's not to be above keeping the house warm and welcoming for Kenny to come home to.  I should make sure his needs are met first, and then take care of the children.

God forgive me for being so selfish!  I'm sorry for allowing my selfish desires to look good and get back in shape stand in the way of doing what You've created me to do.  I know You have the answers for how to structure my day so that the house is clean and welcoming when Kenny gets home, dinner is prepared, AND the kids feel loved and nurtured because I've spent time with them too.  It seems impossible to me Lord, but I know with Your wisdom, guidance, and strength, I can do anything.  Show me what needs to be cut from my day... time on my phone/computer, nap, running errands, etc.  What should my priorities be and in what order?  Help me remember to start each day by asking You what You have for me.  I don't want to continue down this path of selfishness.  Teach me to be what You created me to be, Your daughter, Kenny's helpmate, and then boymom.  This season of raising young children is so, so short.  When my days seem long and overwhelming, remind me that what I'm doing matters to You.  I want to give it my all.  I need You, God.  I desperately, desperately need You.  The struggle is real... but You are the answer!

progress - something's got to change

At the beginning of this year, I made some goals with an actual intention of keeping them.  This is how it's going:

1. spend time in the Word daily - Unfortunately, this hasn't happened at all.  I am reading through Dangerous Duty of Delight with Melissa, but that's not the same as spending time in His Word, listening to Him, and seeking what He has for me and our family.  So Kenny and I hope to start getting up around 6 or 6:30 to read our Bibles and pray together.  We've discussed reading through Romans since we are studying it in our homegroup.  I also plan to start the Busy Mamas Bible Study on Psalm 22.  And I just need to start praying more... for Kenny, our boys, our family, our friends, our country.  The list could go on and on.  I plan to keep an ongoing list of prayers in my phone so whenever the opportunity presents itself, I will have a plan and be able to focus my time wisely.

2. be up before kids - This has been difficult as our sleep has been more interrupted lately. Joshua has started waking up screaming again.  We ask him what's wrong and he has no idea.  I think it's either night terrors or spiritual warfare. We play Scripture Lullabies in his room all night and I'm trying to remember to pray over them and their room before bed.  But I'm often so exhausted at the end of the day that my good intentions seem to disappear.  But regardless of how much sleep we get, I need to be up before them.  Hopefully goal #1 will help in this area.

3. keep house clean and welcoming -  I think a schedule will help in this area.  But I need to make one and think about it more... in all my spare time.

4. homeschool Joshua - This has been going very well! I just need my kids to stay healthy and we could get more accomplished.  I'm loving our curriculum and Joshua's enthusiasm for it as well.  It's been great fun so far!

5. spend time with each child individually every day -  Yup, need to work on this too.  Why can't I clone myself!?!?

6. establish bedtime routine - We were doing pretty good with this. I've slacked the last few weeks, but it should be pretty easy to resume. This has been a good reminder!

7. make four homemade meals per week - Lately I've been very convicted about my eating habits.  Food has definitely been an emotional release and I'll even say it's become an idol.  The Lord has shown me He created food to give our bodies (our temple - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20) fuel and energy so we can accomplish His will.  It's not supposed to replace seeking Him when our lives become stressful and difficult.  Yet, that's what I've been doing.  So I started Whole 30 today!!!  I won't be eating sugar, alcohol, grains, legumes, dairy, or processed foods for 30, yes thirty, days!  It's required a lot of meal planning and shopping but I'm pretty excited about it.  Eating Whole 30 also means I will be making ALL of my meals.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner... no eating out, no cheat meals, no shortcuts.  I also know it's going to be tough... and I figure it will be like drug withdrawals.  The first few days/weeks will be the worst.  But eventually my body will be so much healthier, my habits changed, my mom pooch gone (hopefully), and I'll be free from my sugar addiction! I'm eager to see my results!!!

8. exercise three times a week - I started out exercising every day... that lasted two weeks!  I'm hoping to start walking more (with the boys!!) and to keep working out as well.  I just feel so much better when I do.  It's time consuming and I don't want it becoming a higher priority than spending time with God, so I've got to figure out how to fit it into my day.

I feel like so many areas of my life need a drastic change and ASAP.  I know that all of this can't be fixed tomorrow.  Lord, show me the areas that are most important and need attention now.  Show me how to structure my day so that I can be most glorifying to You.  I want to be a vessel fit for Your use.

the wrights and the terrible horrible no good very bad Skype call

On Valentine's morning we had an amazing opportunity to Skype call Mercy, from Naomi's Village. I was so excited about it! I had practiced with Joshua and we discussed the types of questions he could ask her.  I explained that she lived in Kenya and could not come over to play with him.  But we could ask about her life there...

• what was her favorite color, food, toy?
• was she liking school?
• does she share a room with anyone?
• do they celebrate Valentine's Day?

I desperately wanted to tell her we love her and are praying for her.  And most importantly, to tell her Happy Birthday! How cool was it that our call happened to be scheduled on her birthday!?!?

Our call was scheduled for 8:00AM.

The morning came faster than I wanted and we weren't prepared. I don't understand much about Skype, I have used it maybe twice in my life. Thinking it was an easy task, I asked Kenny to add Naomi's Village to our contacts, per my instructions from them.  It was 7:50.

He logged in to his account and was almost finished setting it up, when I realized I told them to contact me! We tried switching to my account, and of course I've forgotten my password because I never use this application! Then after further research, I realized I gave them my actual name, not my Skype name. 

It was now 8:10. 

I was heartbroken and horrified at the thought of sweet 4 year old Mercy sitting on the other side of the world, waiting to meet us, and we don't show up.  I said a quick prayer as Kenny tried calling them. 

IT WORKED!

There was sweet little Mercy, and an older girl to translate. (side note: I was expecting an American worker... aka, a white person)

I froze.

Completely, one hundred percent, froze. I didn't remember anything we had talked about saying, I was nervous, and my mouth simply did not work.

After what seemed like an eternity, I said "Can you hear us?" and kept trying to turn up the volume.  The rest is such a blur. I remember saying this is Joshua, Anchor, and Maverick. I held up Anchor so she could see, and we saw her face light up with a smile! Who doesn't love babies!? 

We asked her favorite color, and she said blue. And we asked what she liked to play with. She looked at me with a confused face, but then her translator said she likes to draw.  I then asked what time it was over there, and they said 5:00.  I told Joshua they were ready to have dinner and we just woke up. Both Joshua's and Mercy's jaws dropped... that was priceless!

I couldn't think of anything else to say, and felt retarded. So I just said we love you, we're praying for you, and bye! 

I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

We have to be the worst sponsors on record.  My heart is broken over how horrible it was. 

But I trust that God allowed it to work for a reason. It was so good just to see her face and smile. Joshua now know's she is real!  She'll have something to talk about when the other kids talk about Skype-ing with their sponsors. And I'll definitely know better for next time.

I plan to write down my questions and topics to discuss... and remember to take a screen shot picture!  I'll know how to set up the Skype call.  And I'll wait until they are both a little older, maybe six or seven.  I know Mercy is still learning English, so that probably adds to the "shy factor."  

This sweet girl has my heart and I wish that could've come across in the call.  Now we'll just have to plan a trip to Naomi's Village so she can see firsthand how deeply she is loved by our crazy family!