cultivate

Yes, here we are again.

I know.  I said I was going to start blogging, and then somehow life got away from me. 

I keep falling back into these bouts of just going through the motions.  I love my life.  I serve a mighty God who has big things for me.  But I struggle, really struggle, with believing that and putting what He says into action. 

I battle laziness... a lot.  It's definitely a giant I've needed to kill for far too long.

This year, I started reading Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson.  (She has become a "mentor" to me through her books and podcasts and blog posts.  I hope to attend her conference this year, but covid has put a lovely hold on that.)

My favorite thing to do is make excuses.  I've become quite the expert at it, unfortunately.  And this year I set out to change that.  Though here I am... still failing.

Laziness and excuses don't exactly make for a life lived with purpose and passion.  It's definitely not something I want to be remembered for or pass on to my boys.

I'm not exactly sure how to change. I know it's going to take effort... day after day, one step at a time, over and over again.

This is the verse God has laid on my heart for this year. Psalm 37:3

"Trust in the LORD, and do good,
dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness."

1. I am to trust in the Lord, not myself.  I need to let go of control!  (ahem... thank you coronavirus!)

2. Instead of wishing for different circumstances, another phase of life, or a supernatural change in my personality, I need to dwell right where I'm at.  Dwell means to live in a specified place... a place my God chose for me.  (Acts 17:26)  What good can I be doing right here, where He has me?

3. definition of cultivate - "try to acquire or develop; apply oneself to improving or developing"
I need to own my life! To cultivate a deep faith and responsibility for what God has given me.

I don't think it's a coincidence we started planting a garden a few weeks ago... though I didn't know it at the time. (see post about how it all started)

Despite ALL of my shortcomings, I know God is gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love and mercy.  And that is what keeps me getting out of bed, still trying to change, even though I fail time and time again.