my first *almost* emergency room trip as a mom

I know as a mom of three boys that trips to the ER are inevitable. But I don't think any amount of experience or knowledge could prepare me for how scary it is. My emotions become involved so quickly, everything seems to escalate, and before I know it fear has completely taken over.

Here's how it went down:

I was making the kids breakfast while Kenny fed Anchor his bottle. I noticed he kept gagging and I thought it was odd but didn't pay much else attention to it. After Anchor finished, he kept choking and seemed to have trouble breathing. I noticed a rash around his mouth and neck. I showed Kenny but he didn't seem concerned, made comments about how I was overreacting, and went to work.

8:52AM

I took off Anchor's amber teething necklace and posted this picture on my Stone Soup Group Facebook page hoping someone knew what it was.  Meanwhile, Anchor kept gagging, choking, and acting like he couldn't breathe. I became really concerned but had no idea what to do. Then he started vomiting... and didn't stop! I finally realized Kenny had given him raw cow's milk instead of the goat milk. (He refused to apologize for it which escalated into a fight, so now we weren't talking.) I felt better knowing what it was, but still didn't have a peace about doing nothing.  I put him in the bathtub and texted the picture to Janette.  The rash was quickly spreading and Anchor continued to vomit. I called my pediatrician (who is 45 minutes away!) and the nurse said she needed to ask the doctor and would call me back.

8:19AM

Janette saw this picture and said take him to the ER. She had been texting a friend of hers who was a nurse. This really freaked me out... the rash was spreading so fast! I had the boys, Kenny was mad and headed to work, how could this be happening!?!? I called Melissa, but she didn't answer. Great, the boys now had to go with me. The doctor's office called back and said to bring him in. I responded that they were too far and I was on my way to the ER. I threw the boys into the car - Joshua was in shorts and no shoes, Maverick was still in his pajamas. Neither had coats and with the windchill temps were in the 20s!

I told Janette I didn't even know where the ER was... (awesome, I now sound like a complete idiot to my mother-in-law). She texted a location and I just started driving. Kenny met me there (much to my surprise). I went in and they told me there was an hour and a half wait! I told them this was an emergency and they informed they were not an ER.  I felt completely humiliated and asked them where one was.

We got back in the car and headed five minutes down the street to the *real* ER. By this time, Anchor's rash had greatly improved, he wasn't vomiting, and had actually fallen asleep. Kenny asked why were even taking him in and I told him because his mom and our pediatrician said to. Kenny again explained that I was overreacting since we knew what this was from. He said to give him Benadryl and take him home.

Thankfully, by the time I got home, his rash was almost completely gone and I never had to give him Benadryl (praise the Lord)!  And the lesson we all learned: Anchor can't have dairy! At least not now, and we'll have to do some allergy testing. I'm praying he won't have an allergy. What a nightmare that will be!

When all was said and done, I realized I'm thankful for Kenny's wisdom and ability to think clearly when all else seems to be falling apart. I learned I need to pray for peace and not allow fear to take over. I don't want to be a weak, incompetent, fearful mom who becomes a wreck the moment something bad happens. I'm so grateful this situation was nothing worse and that God protected Anchor from a more serious allergic reaction.

when roseola came to visit

Last Wednesday, Janette watched the boys while Kenny and I went to our first counseling appointment.  When we picked them up, I noticed Maverick was really warm.  I found out he had been running a fever and that she had given him a dose of Tylenol.

That night he was up several times, burning hot! The next morning I took his temperature and it was around 103.  I realize that's not super high, but it's the highest fever Maverick has ever had.  All he did was lay around and sleep.  I couldn't get him to drink or eat much.  Around lunch time his eyes started to glaze over and I knew he must feel horrible.  I gave him another dose of Tylenol, but was trying not to bring the fever down too much as I know it fights infection.  I put him in a bath with apple cider vinegar and my poor buddy just looked at me like he wanted to die. Miserable for both of us.  Throughout the day, I boosted his immune system with elderberry syrup, a wellness formula, and Thieves.  While natural healing isn't quick, I know it's so much better for their immune systems.

We had plans to go to Babe's with the Merrimans for dinner so I called a sitter.  I felt horrible leaving my sweet, sick boy but I knew all he'd do is sleep.

On Friday, his fever was still high (staying between 102-104) but he had no other symptoms.  Everything inside of me was screaming to call the doctor.  But logically, I knew there wasn't much a doctor could do.  I didn't want him on antibiotics and if it was a virus, it just has to run its course.  He continued to sleep a lot and it was work to get him to eat and drink.  He'd eat two eggs for breakfast, yogurt for lunch, and oatmeal for dinner.

By Friday evening, I was starting to get worried that I could not get his fever to break. I told Kenny to pick up some ibuprofen.  We gave it to Maverick around 5:30 and within twenty minutes he was a different kid! He was running around, smiling, talking, and eating!!  Talk about mommy guilt... I had been giving him the wrong medicine!!! At least he had some relief and I got my buddy back.

Saturday he woke up with a much lower fever, only 100-101.  He continued to snuggle and sleep a lot, but seemed a little more interactive when he was awake. He would try to play but after a few minutes, he'd crawl back up on the couch.

On Sunday morning, the fever was completely gone but his belly was covered in a rash!  My poor buddy just couldn't catch a break!! The rash didn't seem to bother him, but he continued to sleep a lot.

This morning his rash had spread all over his body.  I researched a little, and from what I can tell this horrible virus is called roseola.  The rash is a reaction to his high fever that lasted so long.  It's supposed to go away in 2-3 days so I'm hoping praying he's significantly better tomorrow.  If not, I can't guarantee a call to Dr. Chartrand won't be happening.

I miss my happy little buddy who's always smiling and playing peek-a-boo.  I miss him eating and drinking all day long.  I miss his smiles and hugs... snuggles from a burning hot, sick little baby just aren't the same (though they are still so sweet).  I miss hearing his laugh and the stories he tries so hard to tell us.

I hope roseola packs up and goes home soon.  He was never welcome in the first place.

Still, I'm thankful we serve a healing God who cares more about my little one than I could ever dream of.  I'm thankful for natural remedies.  I'm beyond grateful that I'm able to stay at home with my boys and don't have the added stress of missing work or finding someone else to take care of them and nurse them back to health.  I'm thankful for Kenny's support to treat our boys naturally first, but if/when needed, he's also supportive of seeing a doctor.

old habits die hard

Joshua's had this fever since Saturday night. It fluctuates between 100-103. He complains of a stomach ache off and on, but nothing else. No vomiting. No diarrhea. No constipation. But he's also had no appetite, very unlike him. And has been pretty lethargic, also very unlike him.

My instinct (which I learned from being raised with this mindset) is to think worst case scenario with symptoms I'm not familiar with or have not experienced myself.  In my experience, fever has always been accompanied by something... pain, aches, vomiting, diarrhea, etc.  But I've also been told a low grade fever is GOOD as it fights off infection.  I've been warned about being too quick to reduce it.

But after 36 hours of fever!?!?  I've been racking my brain, scouring the internet, texting friends, trying to figure out what this could be.

I'd ask Joshua questions, but our conversations go like this:

me: What's wrong?
J: My tummy hurts.
me: Where?
J: I don't know.
me: What else is wrong? Do you hurt anywhere else?
J:  Yes.
me: Where?  (becoming extremely frustrated)
J: I don't know.
me: Does your forehead hurt?
J: Yes.
me: Does your throat hurt?
J: Yes.
me: Does your leg hurt?  (wondering if he knows what he's saying)
J:  Yes.

It's so difficult to "diagnose" a patient that doesn't clearly communicate what ails them.

Fearing the worst, thinking this has gone on long enough, knowing doctors must have a way to treat patients that can't communicate, I asked Kenny if I could call the pediatrician and take Joshua in.

Kenny's response: He's fine!

Immediately, my mind started to race with fears of Joshua having a ruptured appendix, an infection that spread rapidly throughout his body, or even dying!

I began pleading with Kenny to make him see my point of view and agree that Joshua should see the doctor. My volume level quickly escalated to a yell, and I was holding Maverick.  Kenny shut down and left the house.

I texted Lindsay to hear her thoughts. As a mom of four, who RARELY takes her kids to the doctor, and who treats them naturally, I knew she'd point me in the right direction.

Her response: He's fine!

REALLY!?!?!?

But it was quickly followed by a phone call. (Thank You Lord!)  She explained her thought process: Fever fights off infection. He had a stomach bug on Thursday/Friday, got the fever on Saturday night. His body was learning to heal itself.  (This little boy was constantly on antibiotics and in and out of the hospital from birth to age two. His body didn't do anything on its own until we adopted him.) Joshua's recovery from the stomach bug was going to look different than mine and Kenny's.  I needed to continue to boost his immune system and give him plenty of water. It would just take time. After a week, I might have reason to be concerned.

Her explanation made perfect sense. Healing naturally always takes more time, but it strengthens our immune system! Joshua's little body is starting from scratch, learning how to heal and fight infection without antibiotics. I felt like Kenny's response was simply because he didn't want to waste $80 on a doctor visit and not because he truly believed that Joshua was okay.

I'm so thankful for Lindsay's patience and willingness to help me think logically and not let my fears force me to go against Kenny's will by taking Joshua in. A lot of people tell me to trust my mommy instincts, and because of that I was tempted to just make an appointment and go in. But I want to be careful that my "mommy instincts" are not coming from a place of fear and doubt but from a heart that's sought the Lord, prayed for His will, and thought logically about what's best for our family.

The phrase "old habits die hard" came to mind today as I've realized I'm really going to have to work at not thinking worst case scenario whenever our kids get sick.  I want Kenny to respect me and my instincts regarding their health, especially since I'm with them all day. But that will never happen when I'm acting from a place of fear.

Thankfully, I have the Holy Spirit's guidance, strength, and help in changing my thought process. "God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and self-control." (2 Timothy 1:7)

Lord, help me seek You first whenever our children get sick. You are the Healer, You created our bodies to heal themselves, and gave us natural medicines to help the process and strengthen our bodies. Help me to think rationally before letting fear rule my decisions. Amen.